That’s a very good question. I think God is trying to tell me yes. And not broken in the humbled before God sense, but in the broken you got to fix it ASAP sense.
Honestly, I don’t know what’s broken. This is a recent development and I think it runs pretty deep.
I just feel like there’s something missing between me and God.
Our relationship is lacking something significant.
This is just me theorizing right now, but one reason could be a disconnect from God in my head to God in my heart. Have I really made God my personal God? I’m reading portions of the Old Testament now and I find it interesting how some people refer to God as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, or the God of Jacob.
Am I relating to God like he’s someone else’s God? Have I not made God the God of Alex? Could that be why I’ve been feeling a lack of intimacy with God? Or why I find it so hard to be outwardly passionate about God when I talk with non-Christians.
Because deep down I still haven’t made that personal connection?
I don’t know. I know I’ve felt for awhile now (a year maybe) that something is missing. There’s something missing that is preventing me from being completely radical and undignified for God.
*ponders* What could it be?