Author: Alex Tran

I couldn’t fall asleep last Thursday.

You’d think it was because I was feeling the pressure of performing not just my first wedding ceremony, but the wedding ceremony of my little sister (picture) in less than 48 hours.

Nope.

Sleep eluded me because I was thinking about an article I read about gossiping positively (read the sixth point). There were no witnesses so I cannot confirm or deny if a few tears were shed as I lay there restless in bed.

My spirit was burdened by one thought.

Why is it so easy to tear down those closest to us with our words?

Is it just me or is there a point in most relationships (friends, spouse, co-workers) where you become more comfortable talking about a person’s weaknesses or the negative aspects of their habits/personality?

You’re always late. You get your feelings hurt too easily. You only think about yourself.

That point in a relationship is a potentially dangerous crossroad.

One path has you continually speaking negatively about a person which (guaranteed) breeds mistrust, resentment, bitterness, annoyance and the like (on both sides).

This path truly frightens me.

It has the potential of leading a relationship to the point of no return.

Negative words are like jabbing a fork at someone. It doesn’t matter how thick a person’s skin is. If kept up, eventually your words will draw blood and the wound will scar. You’ll have left permanent damage on the relationship.

The other option is you fight hard, often and diligently to replace your negative words with why that person is valuable to God. What makes them unique? What strengths do they have that you lack?

Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)
The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.

I have been on the receiving end of negative comments. I like to think I have thick skin and am not easily offended. But I found myself wincing when I heard negative things said about me. Words that became hurtful even though they were true and things I already knew about myself. They made me more insecure and self-conscious.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Negative remarks have a tendency to land right where a person is most vulnerable and insecure.” quote=”Negative remarks have a tendency to land right where a person is most vulnerable and insecure.”]

I shed some tears (wouldn’t call it a cry…) the other day because I saw the negative affect words had not only on me but those closest to me as well.

Everyday we eat the fruit of our words.

Use words that bring life.

Please.

Thoughts? Please share in the comments.

Photo courtesy of lauralewis23.

When I swim, I sink like a rock.

I’d like to think it’s because I’m a solid mass of muscle. Isn’t it common knowledge fat floats and muscle sinks. ;)

But lately I’ve been trying to counteract that tendency. I’ve been going to the local swim club to improve my swimming technique.

One of the biggest hurdles I’ve encountered is how terrible my breathing becomes when I start to get tired. I can feel my body tense up. I start to panic. The mechanics of my stroke start to change. Overall, everything about what I know to do starts collapsing.

So often we can get overwhelmed with life.

You can’t find a job. You don’t know how you’ll pay the bills. The kids are driving you crazy. A past relationship is throwing you in a frenzy. You’ve been breathing from your reserve oxygen tank, but you sense it’s starting to run out.

It’s getting harder to breathe. You’re losing faith and trust in God.

But you know what was interesting about my swim practice the other day? You’d think my breathing would become more labored as I progressively got more tired. But it actually improved.

The reason?

I got better at staying calm when I got tired. I kept myself together instead of collapsing. I remembered to breathe.

That’s exactly what God wants us to do when we feel overwhelmed, confused or in a world of chaos. To remember to breathe.

But not on our own.

God wants us to increase our capacity to breathe through Him.

Rather than struggle and fight through a seeming lack of oxygen, we need to realize we have a God who will breathe for us.

Daniel 10:17-18 (NIV)
…My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe.”

¹⁸ Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength.

Just as I learned to breathe when I wanted to panic, we need to learn to rely on God whenever our current situation has us scrambling for breathe. We need to learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and say “God, I trust you” with my current situation. (Click to tweet.)

When you want to quit, learn to take a deep breath, exhale and say “God, I trust you.” Deep breath. Exhale. “God, you are the source of my strength.”

Photo courtesy of ontwerpplus.

What’s the purpose of fasting? To me, there’s two components of a fast.

1. Denying your physical needs/temptations so that you can . . .
2. Be more intentional seeking God.

The problem I’ve experienced with myself over countless years of fasting is that I spend an overwhelming amount of time focused on #1.

What type of fast am I going to do? Daniel, liquids, water only? Full, partial? Am I going to incorporate a non-food fast like social media? And then 99% of my fast is focused on trying to find fast-approved recipes, avoiding social media, and honoring the fast I’ve chosen.

But what’s the missing piece?

Seeking God.

Whoops.

There’s always lot of intentionality about what I’m fasting but little when it came to how I’d seek God more. How do I always lose sight of that? I have no idea, but it’s so easy to let what I’m fasting completely overshadow why I’m fasting.

The hope is that fasting provides an opportunity to seek and depend on God more. Whether that be an extra meal during the day or time saved not on social media or watching TV. But, more than I care to admit, God doesn’t generally get that extra time.

Which is why I now start any fast by reverse fasting.

What’s a reverse fast?

Instead of focusing on #1 first, I’m going to focus on #2. Reverse the priorities. Instead of spending so much time figuring out what I’m not going to eat, I’m going to first figure out how to seek God more.

It starts by doing an honest assessment of my day and identifying unproductive times. Once I’ve identified those, I can cut them out and get more time in my day. Then I intentionally plan how I’m going to use that extra time to connect with God.

That’s the key to a reverse fast.

For example, here are some unproductive times I’ve identified in the past:

• Hitting the snooze button. Seriously, I waste 30 minutes a morning.
• Always having a TV show I’m watching and watching it when I have idle time.
• Checking social media a gazillion times a day.
• Randomly browsing the internet for no productive reason.

Cutting out those things could easily free up one to two hours a day (if not more!). So with that extra time, my reverse fast has looked like this:

• Morning (15 minutes): Read from a devotional like My Utmost For His Highest. Marinate on it.
• Lunch (15 minutes): Eat lunch at home. Before eating, spend time praying for people in my life (intentionally collecting prayer requests beforehand).
• After Work (30 minutes): 15 minutes of personal prayer/worship. 15 minutes of listening for God’s voice.
• Before Bed (30 minutes): Read and marinate on a longer Bible reading plan.

So there you have it. My reverse fast. I feel this change puts the priority and focus back on the right thing (God). This coupled with a few other practical things I’ve discovered along the way will help you set the table for a spiritual significant fast!

How about you? What’s been your experience with fasting? How do you structure yours?