Holy Crap, What Just Happened?

I would not describe myself as a visionary. One of those people able to rally people around a greater purpose or goal.

I am not a very confident leader when I don’t have all my ducks in a row. A clear mental map of what I’m trying to convey, how I’m going to do it and a structured order of events. <– that’s the ISTJ in me.

I do not lead very well having to think on the spot and navigate a flexible, unknown environment.

I get panicky. Anxious. I can sense physiological changes in my body.

So it was much to my surprise when I found myself having to lead a group of leaders today not knowing exactly what I was going to say or really what the take home message was supposed to be.

I was scared I had called this meeting and was going to waste people’s time; ruining any potential momentum.

But God showed up despite my insecurities and weakness and revealed these verses to be true.

1 Corinthians 2:3-4 (NIV)
³ I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. ⁴ My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power,

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
…my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I told people not to waste their lives, but instead, to live them focused on leaving an eternal legacy for Christ.

But I didn’t say any of it. It was a surreal, “holy moment” (for lack of a better description).

God’s Spirit, Christ’s power spoke through me more eloquently, confidently and with more conviction than I could have ever spoken on my own with a month of preparation.

One of those “holy crap, what just happened?” moments.